My vegetarianism is 50% health paranoia and 50% environmental concern, so I don’t begrudge the meat eater their animal flesh. There are many better ways to improve the world than not supported certain industries. That said, I do ask people to be aware of the lifestyle choices they make and the impact those decisions have on the planet and on other living things. If you eat meat but don’t want to think about what that entails, don’t except me to respect you for it. In a different world I would eat meat — but not in this one.

I don’t drink alcohol or coffee because I don’t like the taste, not because I disapprove. However, I do disapprove of alcohol in excess. Drunk people all too often do destructive and dangerous things that they did not mean to do. Even in its milder abuses, alcohol can become a social crutch and an excuse to do stupid things. Fine, get wasted, but please don’t expect me to hang around while you do so or listen to stories about what you don’t remember doing.

Smoking… smoking is just gross. I don’t know why people do it, knowing full well how bad it is for their health. I don’t want my friends dying of perfectly preventable forms of cancer, and I don’t want to avoid them because they smell bad. That said, if you smoke a pipe, I may have to indulge myself of a whiff or two. Just let me know if you discover a better way to get clothes to smell like pipe tobacco.

I love chocolate, but I can easily go a full month without craving it. It makes me feel outright unfeminine sometimes, the way I blithely ignore monthly cycles, department store sales, and bare-chested men. And I’m afraid I can’t help staring at the high-heeled Greek girls with their skunk-poofed hair and ridiculously ginormous sun-goggles. I may never understand why makeup has become practically mandatory, or why designer clothes only fit photoshopped models, but go ahead and partake of popular feminine consumer culture. Just don’t ask me to shave my legs, read women’s magazines, or plaster myself in “DG” logos.

This has been a mostly pointless rant, except to say that I do not know what I would give up for Lent were I Orthodox. Perhaps it’s just an excuse to be opinionated.