The pain of being away from friends has dulled a bit now, but now I often want to be alone. I like to hide out in my room and listen to rain on the patio roof under my window, and go on long walks in Jurassic Park (Centennial Park is its real name) listening to sad music. Today I even brought a packed lunch and a book.
It’s not all angst and introspection, however. I’ve been baking bread for sandwiches and burgers, and today my mom and I had a cookie battle: Jessica’s recipe — secret ingredient: pudding — versus some online recipe — secret ingredient: lard. I only won best-looking cook and best-smelling cookies, while my mom won best-looking cookies and best-tasting cookie-dough. We will find out who has the best-tasting cookies tonight! Even if I don’t make a comeback, it’s all right. I’ve discovered that eating cookies isn’t as much fun as making them. My brother chopping chocolate and playing Miyazaki music, my mom and I stirring, baking, and dancing… It was one of those little moments of joy that can only be found in the kitchen.
I’ve been absorbed with many other pastimes as well: I updated my website, devoured Interview with the Vampire, drew another catdragon, and searched in vain for a place to buy poi. My family saw The DaVinci Code, but I was not impressed. I had a much better time with The Gamers and the Indian comedy show we went to last night.
So you see, I am certainly busying myself. It still doesn’t feel like home. I am homesick for Reed, and my friends, and the fading of that pain almost feels worse. But then there are moments of fullness and happiness, like baking cookies with my mom, and I am complete again. Those are the moments that make living so sweet.
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http://www.homeofpoi.com/ is a place Matteson found and is currently buying a torch and some poi from.
And there is definitely a strangeness about when that pain goes away- there’s an ache for it, a not wanting to forget… a lot of people get addicted to that and become emo =P But that doesn’t mean you should shun feeling that, ’cause that’s never good either. I don’t know how to help you though- I mean, you could go join some community activities thing and try to make friends, or see about a job… but you’re not often in NZ, so I don’t know.
More hugs! Through t3h intarweb! for j00! =P
“It was one of those little moments of joy that can only be found in the kitchen.” Than struck me as particualrly lovely. Miss you, darling. Can’t wait to visit again next fall.
Woo-ha! Wow, I haven’t had poi in a while. I should go find some. Are you a vegan?
Ja, this is the guy who requested the cat-dragon-of-aswesomeness.
Actually, I have never eaten poi — I was referring to twirling poi, which are essentially just a pair of balls on strings. Home of Poi is one of the first sites I came across, and they have online lessons which I’ve been using. In fact, they’re located in Christchurch, NZ, and the poi I actually bought were from them!
Thank you for the hug, KC! hugback
I can’t wait for your visit, Anna! hugs
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